Dating with Crohn’s disease or any chronic illness can be hard. Especially when eating or drinking the wrong thing could ruin the rest of the night. Growing up, one of my biggest fears was that I would never be able to go on a real date. A stereotypical dates involves dinner and a movie or going back to someone’s apartment. I always got sick after going out to dinner. As a result, little elementary/middle school me feared my future dating life would not exist. Something that most kids don’t think about.

Dating with a chronic disease is still hard, but Brendan and I are creative to make it work. We still go out to dinner, but many of our dates do not involve food. We may cook a paleo dinner together, often choosing a recipe from 30 Minute Meals for the Paleo AIP or The Global Paleo AIP Kitchen.

Tips for Dating with Crohn’s Disease

Find an understanding partner – This is easier said than done, but if your partner is not willing to put in the effort to consider your health, condition and special needs, then you may want to re-evaluate the relationship.
Share your story – When you are comfortable, let your date know about your condition. After all, it is a major part of your life. I don’t like Crohn’s to be the first thing people know about me, but it is something that should come up within the first few dates
Always be prepared – If there is something you may need on a date, bring it. This could be emergency flare up medications, travel wipes, or a safe snack.
Have an emergency ride ready – If you think you may need to leave somewhere early, have transportation available so you are not stuck there. I remember being at a bar orientation week of medical school. I was 6 months into the worst flare of my life and already did not feel well before going out. At the bar, I was miserable with stabbing stomach pains that prevented me from standing up straight and frequent bathroom trips. This was the first time I had met many classmates and did not want to seem lame by leaving. It also was not a safe walk home. At this point, our city still did not have Uber or Lyft. I did not want to call a sketchy cab or make my friends leave early, so I stuck it out. What I should have done was drive myself to the bar, so I could have left whenever I wanted.
Be honest – If you’re not feeling well, you need to cancel or modify plans or you do not want to do something, speak up. Your partner will appreciate an honest explanation rather than you flaking on the plans without reason
Make time for yourself – If you are not taking the time to practice self-care and fulfill your personal needs, it is hard to truly be present with your partner. It is key to do what you can to keep your disease under control, sleep well and really take care of yourself so you can be there for your partner.
Be understanding – Remember, you also need to be understanding of your partner’s needs and feelings. Your chronic disease can also be very challenging for your partner. No one likes to see another sick or struggling. Open communication is one of the best ways to really check in with your partner and make sure all is going well.

Dates That Do Not Involve Eating Out

Get Dressed Up

See a show
Classy night at a speakeasy
Attend a fundraising gala

Switch it up at home

Cook together (recipe favorites here 30 Minute Meals for the Paleo AIP & The Global Paleo AIP Kitchen)
Movie night – grab your fluffiest blankets and prepare for a cozy night in
Mario kart night
Grab some friends and play fishbowl, drawful or your favorite party game
Board game night

Low-Key Dates

Stargaze at a planetarium
Couples massage
Get your palms read (couples palm reading)
Visit a cute bookstore (and pick out books for each other)
Go to the movies
Check out a museum
Board Game Cafe
Escape Room
Comedy Night
Trivia night
Visit a farmer’s market – you don’t have to eat, but if you do, likely the food is farm fresh, organic and can suit many dietary needs
Take an art class (painting, pottery, etc.,)
Volunteer together (there are so many different community activities to do that suit every interest)
Hit up the track (race cars, horses)
Karaoke night
Casino night

Exhilarating Dates

Let your adrenaline on a roller coaster at an amusement park
Indoor skydiving
Go bungee jumping
Visit a haunted house
Murder mystery night
Ride the Ferris wheel at a carnival
Adopt a pet together

Physical Date Ideas

In my opinion, physical dates are perfect for one of the first dates. Most are done within a few hours, you are active the entire time and you are usually trying something new. The conversation will never be boring.

Scenic hike
Explore a new city
Walk around somewhere beautiful
Rock climbing
Curling – actually so fun with a small group!
Bowling
Ice skating
Roller blading
Exercise class
Dancing lessons
Horseback trail ride
Do a local habitat for humanity build
Laser tag
Sunset stroll
Do a race together

Summer Date Ideas

Beach day
Swimming
Kayaking/canoeing
Paddle boarding
Fishing
Picnic at a park – pack your own safe foods, and this is an easy date
Go to the drive-in
Go for a bike ride
Mini golf
Hang with the animals at the zoo
Go water skiing together

Outdoor Winter Dates

Ski trip
Sledding
Visit an ice bar
Go bob sledding
Build a snowman
Go snowmobiling

What are your favorite date ideas?

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